Please note…I’m not a crazy conspiracy theorist. So up front: This is intended as SATIRE. I know coming out and saying that this is a big ol’ joke likely diffuses it, but this is the internet, and the last thing I’d want to be remembered as is (as Donald Trump would declare) a “Nut Job.” Enjoy.
The Tale of Two Donalds
Recent evidence has come to my attention that Trump is employing a body double in a clever ploy to double his impact through his administration; but things I think have gone horribly awry!
The Idea of a body double is certainly not the most absurd of notions. In most recent history, another family (also famed for their corruption, nepotism, tyrannical rule, and general cruelty and evil) was famous for their usage of body doubles. That would be Saddam Hussein’s regime.
What tipped me off was this morning’s Tweet from Donald Trump bemoaning the state of the GOP’s Healthcare Bill:
Many people are happy to point out the poorly-worded and grammatically flawed tweet citing the President’s incompetence by how he has accidentally referred to his own party’s health care bill as “failed.”
Side-note: For the grammatical enthusiasts and nitpickers out there. Check out Eat Shoots and Leaves by Lynn Truss. It’s a great book, short, and fun read (again, if you’re into grammar, that is). Perhaps, could help with Trump’s Tweet composition in the future. Sorry…back to the the topic at hand…
What caught my attention, however, is that he ends with: “I will be at my desk, pen in hand!” At the time of this tweet Donald was still in France. How could he possibly be at his desk in the Oval Office at the same time he was overseas?
Trump supporters would argue, he’s talking in the future-tense and will be expecting Republican Senators to come to him once he has returned. I disagree for a couple reasons:
1) Why the need to identify yourself as the “Real” Donald Trump in your twitter account? It only confirms that somewhere there exists a “Fake” Donald Trump as well.
2) Throughout his campaign and Presidency, Donald Trump has been confusing the American people and the Press through his inconsistent messaging, back tracking and out right lies. Sheeple! There are two Trumps out there and they aren’t coordinating! If you want a full accounting of his self-contradictions check out Politico’s roundup.
This more recent tweet indicates that one of the Trumps is going off script…or perhaps even…the “Real” Donald Trump is trying to fight against the health care bill, but everyone is interpreting his tweeting as simply inept. Is the real monster the the evil Doppelganger, just now returning from Paris? Fake Donald Trump has gotten a taste for power and actually, has filled the role of bombastic Real Donald Trump so well…even his closest allies and family members can’t tell the difference.
I challenge you that Fake Donald Trump was the one in France. While the Fake Donald is in France, Real Donald Trump makes a plea on twitter to actually dismantle the GOP health care bill and to come to his office immediately. Sadly, my friends, we misinterpreted the message and now Fake Donald Trump is on his way back; likely to lock up Real Donald Trump in some sort of dungeon under the white house once he returns from New Jersey. Worse yet, Fake Donald will likely ensure Real Donald never tweets again.
“But Streaming Dan,” you may ask, “how do you explain the tweets from Paris and the videos?” Easy, obviously Fake Donald has taken control of Real Donald Trump’s Twitter Account. By some miracle, the Real Donald got a hold of a phone or computer to log in to his account and make one desperate tweet before Fake Donald’s goon squad got Real Donald away from twitter and locked him back up.
If you found this mildly entertaining or a reasonable distraction from an otherwise miserable news cycle; please let me know. I’d love to hear from you! you can also follow me on Twitter @streamingdan82 where I’m extremely active. Also, subscribe to this blog. I try and produce some quality content and subscribing can let you know when the latest and greatest is published. Thanks for reading.